Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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