I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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