Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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