Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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