After last night, I could never be a politician.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
