I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
