The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What a dumb baby whore.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
