I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
