I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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