Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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