she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
