I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
