He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
