Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
