i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
