found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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