My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
