Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
