tell your sister to shave her snatch
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
