So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
