I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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