you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i now understand why vodka
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
