bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
