i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
