I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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