Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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