How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
