So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
