I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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