Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
