Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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