Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have fence marks all over my body
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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