Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
