quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
