You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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