Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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