when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
