What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
