I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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