singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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