You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
