3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
