I wanna passion pit in your ass
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
