theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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