Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
