honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
