i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
