My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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