I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
