I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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