No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
