he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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