I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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