I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
