she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
