We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
