The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
